A Series Of Untold Events
by WhatTheFreak
Summary: Unusual Problems 04: In which Hotaru Imai introduces the problematic disorders of some of our fellow Alices. "Mikan OD'ed on chocolate!" The Chocolate Obsession, "Kyaa! Natsume!" I Love Natsume Obsession, and a few more to ponder about. Series of Drabbles
1. Height Matters

**Disclaimer:** Wait. No. I still do not own Gakuen Alice. Therefore, WhatTheFreak disclaims Gakuen Alice.

**Dedication: **Goes to Heartbroken Confession, Jai, because her stories crack me up and I would not have written a single story without beating myself up over her amazing stories.

Okay my darling readers!

This came up while watching Re-runs on TV.

This is my first chaptered story, even though they're drabbles.

No chapter is related to the previous or the next.

Read, Enjoy, and Review.

* * *

"Why don't _you _smash your face against a door so _I _can open that door again and smash your face even harder!"

"What are you talking about idiot?"

"_Oh my gosh!_ Are you completely oblivious?"

"Hn."

"Do _not_ 'Hn' me. GOD! You are such a--"

"Very unfortunate person listening to you rant about unnecessary crap."

"I am not talking crap! I am talking about--"

"Unnecessary crap, as I just said"

"Natsume! Listen to me first. I am so pissed off at you for--"

"Calling you polka-dots, burning your hair, stealing your und--"

"No! I said listen to me!"

"Hn. Fine."

"Last night, I found out that I'm only 5'2 and, as I heard from Ruka, you're 5'9,"

"So,"

"Well, I'm so friggin short and, well; you're so friggin tall."

"What is the point of this conversation?"

"I heard that short people die first."

"Who the hell told you that?!"

"Koko and Kitsuneme,"

"Do you seriously believe the crap that come out of their--"

"It's true!"

"How would you know that?"

"I am not stupid!"

"Did I say that?"

"No, but--"

"Wait. Wait. Why are _you_ getting mad at _me _for your height?"

"Well…. Because--"

"Because what?"

"Well, I'm shorter than you and when I'm shorter than you, you start picking on me."

"Does everything I do to you involve height?"

"No, but--"

"But nothing. I don't care about height."

"But--"

"5'2 is not that short."

"Not_ that_ short?"

"Yes."

"Are you telling me that 5'2 _is_ short?"

"Technically, yes."

"_That_ is an insult to all who are 5'2!"

"Hn,"

"Natsume, run into my fist."

"Polka, re-connect yourself with your brain, that is, if you have one."

"Nattie dear, I have a post-it in my room, from Hotaru, that says '10 Ways to Murder Natsume Hyuuga' and I really want to try it out."

"Like you could kill me,"

"I have thought of ways to kill, you know that?"

"You thought of ways to kill a cockroach, wow, not surprising."

"Shut up!"

"What was that?"

"I said shut up, so shut it before someone gets hurt."

"Who's gonna get hurt Polka?"

"It's not going to be me, that's for sure."

"Polka, I hardly believe that height is an important matter in life."

"Height is important!"

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"Why?"

"Well, one things for sure, that if you're tall, guys will like you more."

"I'd rather go for short girls, tall chicks--"

"Freak you out?"

"What the fu--"

"Language, Natsume! So…. I didn't know that tall chicks freak you out."

"I did not say that."'

"Oh really? What were you gonna say then?"

"I was going say that tall chicks don't really matter to me."

"Why?"

"Well, I go for the girls that don't really like towering over me,"

"And…"

"They look like giraffes without the sick, brown spots."

"Sick?"

"Just, sick."

"Okay. I still hate being short."

"I don't care."

"You're a meanie, Natsume."

"Whatever shortie."

Nab.

Jab.

Kick.

Thump.

Groan.

"Hmmm, being short is not at all that bad."

Smirk.

* * *

How was it? It sucked, I bet.

This was random, I swear. I did not intend to offend those who are 5'2, I made this story out of the fact that everyone seems to grow but me.

Feel free to criticize and compliment.

I like both, but most of all, REVIEW!


	2. Poo is at Fault

**Disclaimer: **WhatTheFreak would never in a million light years claim Gakuen Alice.

**Dedication: **Goes to Little-Miss-Giggle, Leenoy, because her stories rock.

Hey readers of the world! This is the 2nd drabble.

I have no idea where I got this idea. I think I got it while looking at my dog.

I want to thank all who reviewed the 1st chapter.

Beware! This is totally random.

Read, Enjoy, and Review!

* * *

Squish. Squishy. Squished.

"Holy Crap! What the hell did I just step on?!" exclaims the darling brunette haired girl.

"Hn. Unholy crap." her darling boyfriend answers back.

"Ugh. Gross. I'm going home. I feel like taking a shower."

"You're going to take a shower because you stepped on a pile of dog crap?"

"_No Natsume_. I'm going to take a shower because the sky is falling." Sarcasm is evident. .

"Yes, because I stepped on a pile of dog crap." Sarcasm is not evident.

"Don't you think you should wash your shoes instead? Cause I'm pretty sure that when you step on crap, it doesn't _magically _land on your hair."

"I don't care if it stays on my shoe or even _two _feet from my shoe. Dog poo is not at all sanitary or attractive."

"_Right_…Why would brown, sometimes green, piles of crap be attractive to any human being?" Sarcasm should be evident.

"I know right? I totally agree with you, poo is not attractive, nor sanitary, at all." She didn't hear it.

"Hn."

"Well, besides the talk about crap. I need to get home and wash this sick stench off me."

She looks at her boyfriend.

"What?"

"You're going to walk me home, right?"

"Do you really need to take a shower _now_?"

Her hands are now crossed over her chest.

"Please Natsume. Walk me home." With pleading puppy dog eyes, who could resist?

"Hn. Fine." Rolls eyes.

"Yay!"

And so they walk to her house, hands intertwined.

"Hmm. It seems like no one's home." she assumes.

"I'm leaving Polka." He declares.

"No, no! I don't wanna be alone in this house." She grips his arm tightly.

"I'm not going to stay in this house with you alone. What would your parents think if they saw me here?"

"Please Natsume. I hate being alone."

"Fine. Whatever. I'll be staying in the living room. When you're done showering, we are leaving."

She nods her head in approval.

X X X X

"I'm done showering Nat, so don't come near the hallway." She shouts from the bathroom.

"Why exactly don't you have your own bathroom?" he asks.

"Well, I don't live in a big house where each room has its own bathroom."

"Hn." He said a little too quietly.

"What? I can't hear you! Just don't come near the hallway. I don't want to have one of 'The Proposal' moments."

"It wouldn't be one of those moments unless _you_ weren't wearing a towel, _I_ am naked and sweaty, and you're using a hairdryer to _shoo_ a dog."

"Still, I am naked under the towel."

"Obviously. I'm sure you don't shower with everything on."

"I don't, for your information."

"Why didn't you just bring your clothes inside the bathroom with you?"

"Ehhh! I didn't think of that."

"Idiot." He says under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"Just hurry up and get changed. I don't want to get caught being in this house with you alone."

"I am."

Watching TV, one of the greatest ways to kill time. Too bad there isn't a TV in her living room.

"I'm done!" She emerges from her room looking fresh and bright.

"What took you so long?"

"Geez Natsume. It only took 10 minutes for me to change."

"20 minutes, to be precise."

"I can't believe you were counting the minutes."

"I can't believe you don't have a TV in your living room."

She laughs and he raises his eyebrows.

"Why exactly is that funny?"

"No. No. The only reason our living room doesn't have a TV is because me and my dad were watching a game, and the team we were rooting for lost, so daddy here just throws the remote at the TV and, even I find this impossible, it broke the screen."

She furrows her eyebrows and he raises his.

"Nat, haven't you been to my house before? Didn't you see the TV already?"

"Let's just go."

"Fine."

The couple leaves the house and they walk down the sidewalk.

"_Oh my gosh_! A black cat is crossing our path. We need to go the other way." she says.

"Polka, I am not going to walk back because a black cat crossed our path."

"But Nats--"

"No we are not."

"A black cat is bad luck."

"I don't care. I already went with you because you wanted to take a shower after stepping on crap; I am not going to walk back because of a black cat."

"But--"

"No. We are going to walk this way."

He grabs her by the arm and leads the way.

Squish. Squishy. Squished.

"Damn."

"I told you that cat was bad luck."

"Shut up."

"Now we have to get you home and you need to take a shower."

He curses while she laughs.

"Come on Nat, poo is unsanitary. You need to wash up. I don't want to walk with a guy who leaves a trail."

"Shut up."

"Let's go." She grabs him by the arm and leads the way to his house.

"Nat, this is _all_ your fault. If we didn't argue about which way to go, you wouldn't be complaining about dog poo on your shoe." She tells him in a playful matter.

A bird flies over their heads and leaves a not so attractive gift on one of their heads.

"What the fu--"

"I told you so. If you listened to me, animals wouldn't be pooing on you."

"Shut up."

"Oh look Nattie! Its white, oooh, and its moving too."

"What the hell?!"

"Something's moving on your head."

"What is it?!"

"I dunno, but it's moving and wiggling."

"What the--"

"If only you had listened to me." Sigh.

"Let's go before they come." Tug and pull.

"Okay. Slow down Nat. 'Let's go before they come' sounds like a total cliché movie line. Like 'Let's go before they come Hallie, or their going to take you away' and then that sinister movie laugh by the scary killer or monster."

"Shut up and move your ass. I smell like crap."

"True, you do."

"Let's just go before target practice."

"Okie Dokie!"

They walk towards his house until…

"Natsume,"

"What now?!"

"There's another black cat crossing our path."

Groan.

"Again?"

"Yup, it's right there. See." She points her finger at the black cat.

Another groan.

"We need to find another way if you don't want crap all over you again."

"There _isn't_ another way, Polka."

"Then pray that the birds poo on someone else." She stares at him.

"What?"

"My dad is running towards us."

"What?"

"My dad is running towards us, holding, what looks like, your cell phone."

He checks his pockets.

"Oh fu--"

"What?"

"I dropped my cell phone at your house."

"Uh-oh. Daddy looks really mad. He hates it if a boy stays with me alone. He even hated it when my cousin was with me alone in the house."

More groaning.

"Nat, you might want to run."

And then he was off, running like the wind away from one angry papa.

"Ptooey. This all started because of poo." Says our darling Mikan.

"So," giggles "technically it's all my fault." She says to herself.

"Still… he should have listened to me."

Laugh.

* * *

How was it? Tell me the truth. It sucks, right?

I don't know what brought this idea up.

Bare with me. I'll make the next drabble completely better.

REVIEW!

Oh! Would you guys rather have the next chapter romantic humor or random humor? Put it in the reviews.


	3. If Height Mattered, So Do Eyebrows

**Disclaimer: **Owning Gakuen Alice would be uh-ma-zing, but, sadly, I do not have the brains to conjure up something like that. I-sigh-disclaim Gakuen Alice.

**Dedication: **Goes to those who have the same thing Natsume does in this story. You know who you are. :))

Hello fellow readers. I hereby announce this as my 3rd drabble ever. I have no idea where I came up with this idea.

I can't do romantic humor, I wanted to do something random. Oh, and thank you all so much for the reviews. I love you guys.

Read, Enjoy, and Review.

* * *

"Natsume, just curious, how do you go through life with women constantly staring at _you_ and _your_ unusually pretty-much-rare eyebrows?" asks Mikan Sakura.

"What?" answers our flame/fire-casting dude.

"I mean," she looks at him, shaking her head, "women look at you a lot and say things like 'Natsume Hyuuga is totally hot!' and 'Natsume Hyuuga is mine' but do they _not_ see your eyebrows?"

"Hn."

"I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just naturally curious about things."

Natsume looks at Mikan and cocks his, may I say, _short_ eyebrow.

"Hmm Polka, _just curious_," he smirks then continues, "how do you got through life knowing that _guys_ think you're a _guy_?"

Mikan, who has her mouth agape, looks at Natsume with fury that surpasses a housewife's anger toward her husband's very _smelly_ socks.

"At least my eyebrows don't look like _that_!" She said while pointing at his very short eyebrows.

"Hn."

"Here we go again with the hn-ing. I mean _seriously_, can't you just nod your head or say 'Tch' instead?"

"Tch."

"Whatever. When one of my friends asks me why you have such short eyebrows all I'm going to say is 'The witch-hunters burned it.' And she's going to ask me why, I bet, so I'm going to say ' because he told one of the witches people that they looked like a guy.'"

"Why are the witch-hunters hunting _me_?"

She looks at him and scoffs.

"Duh! Because..because..uhhh…uhhh… You were casting a spell on yourself so your eyebrows would grow."

He cocks his very unusual eyebrow and says "I thought that the witch hunters burned my eyebrows, not that I was born with it."

"Ummm…. They saw you casting a spell and you were _chanting_. Then you wer--"

"_I_ was _chanting_."

"Don't interrupt me! You were rubbing your eyebrows with this black thing-y while you were chanting and then the witch people saw you."

"_I _was_ chanting." _

"Shush! Then they took you away and they burned your eyebrows as punishment. The End!"

"Tch. My eyebrows are _hot._"

"_Oh my gosh!_ Conceited much!"

"Women love me."

"_You! _Women love _you, _not your eyebrows." She emphasizes.

"Oh, so you do love me."

"Eew! I bet that's why women tell you not to cut your hair or your bangs."

"What?" he looks at her with not-so-obvious confusion.

"Because they want to _mask_, I repeat, _mask _your very _not hot_ eyebrows."

"At least I can mask my flaw, though I don't think it's a flaw _at all_."

"What?!"

"I will be blunt, I repeat, _I will be blunt. _You have no boobs."

Mikan, with her mouth agape even wider, looks at Natsume and gives him a good ol' slap.

"Horrible! I cannot believe you can insult a girl like that!" she shouts at the boy with the short eyebrows and the red cheek.

"Hn."

"You are an insensitive uhh…insensitive…. Aha! You are an insensitive and grumpy old Scrooge!"

"What?"

"Just because you have what others don't, doesn't mean you can pick on them and degrade them."

Natsume looks at her and cocks his short eyebrows _again_.

"I am leaving! I cannot be with you right now! You are horrible!"

As Mikan starts to walk away, Natsume can't help but wonder what she means. A few minutes after Mikan has retreated he realizes.

"_The fuck! _I do not have boobs."

* * *

I'm back!

How was it? Criticize and Compliment because even I know this isn't my best work.

Review my fellow FFN-ers.

**To Leenoy/Little-Miss-Giggle**: Was that random for you? :))


	4. Unusual Problems

**Disclaimer: **If Gakuen Alice was mine I would probably have only 50 chapters seeing as that I am a lazy, procrastinating author. Disclaiming.

**Dedication: **To Leenoy because she was the first one who reviewed drabble 3. I hope you like this one.

Fellow readers, I am back from my 2 week vacation. I don't really know why I haven't updated. I guess it's because I am on hell of a lazy author.

Please bear with the idea. This came up while I was watching TV.

Read, Review, and Enjoy!

* * *

"There are many disorders, both common and uncommon, here in the Academy of Alices. So I Hotaru Imai will introduce most of them. Please stay still in your seat and if you need to get up for a certain reason, the exit signs are there for you. You may need to pay the extra fee to get back inside."

"Umm Hotaru, are you seriously—?" questions Yuu as he holds the camera.

'Why the camera?' you say. Well, we are going to exploit, _yes exploit_, everything about the unusual disorders of the academy. But first we must capture those moments.

"Yes." Hotaru answers.

"Okay." Sweatdrop.

"We shall begin."

x-x-x

**Unusual Disorders in the Academy of Alices**

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #O1: COD (Chocolate Obsession Disorder)

**Definition:** When one has the urge to eat the mentioned delicacy and is therefore imagining that everything that is brown is chocolate. Will eat chocolate till there is no more chocolate.

Buy the DVD: Death by Chocolate! Watch the preview here:

"Oh no Anna! What happened to Mikan?" asks a worried Nonoko.

"Ummm…" answers Anna.

"Well…?"

"She OD'ed on chocolate." cries Anna.

"How?"

Anna sniffles and starts crying.

"I gave her _too_ much chocolate. WAHHH!"

"Oh no Anna. You killed Mikan."

"Natsume's going to kill _me_."

They both cry and hug for dear life.

x-x-x

"What a pity, such a young and lively girl." Hotaru says.

"_Mikan-chan is dead?!_" asks a frantic Yuu.

"May she rest in peace."

"She's your best friend! Aren't you going to do something."

"I am only a director."

"But--?"

"To the next one."

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #02: The Mental Dog

**Definition:** When one's dog has the many problems of licking, shaking, running, jumping, and so on and so forth.

Commercially aired on TV: The Guide to Having a Normal Dog. Watch here:

"Hi Ruka-pyon. What are you up to?" Mikan Sakura says to her fellow Animal Lover.

"Nothing much. What brings you here?" he answers back.

"My dog has a problem."

"Really? What's wrong with Sumi?"

"A few: Her tongue is sticking out to the side. She pees like a boy. She humps Natsume's leg."

"Is that all? Maybe she just needs to eat different dog food?"

"I don't think so. She eats different food every month."

"So? I don't see why she has the problem."

"My dog has a mental disorder. I'll take her to Alice Cares For You Mental Care later."

Sweatdrop "Umm. Okay?!"

"Thanks Ruka! You are a big help."

x-x-x

"Mikan must be related to her dog." Says our inventor.

"Hota--," Sigh. "Forget it."

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #03: CBSO (Cool Blue Sky Obsession)

**Definition:** When one has the mind of a child and obsesses over those that may look like 'Cool Blue Sky'. It is uncertain if others have this. It might be the rarest of them all.

Captured! Jail Time with Hayate Matsudaira: Watch here:

"What am I doing here?!" shouts the captive.

"You have shown an interest in our Hotaru Imai." says an unknown voice.

"You mustn't steal her away from us." says another unknown voice.

"She is _ours!_" says a scarier unknown voice.

"What?! Oh God! Help me my Cool Blue Sky."

The laughs of Hotaru's admirers are heard as Hayate screams, shouts and begs for his Cool Blue Sky.

The End.

x-x-x

"Such a sad story," Sigh "His body was found 2 weeks ago."

"But Hotar--!"

"The show _must_ go on."

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #04: TBOD (The Butt Observation Disorder)

**Definition:** Most of you out there might be thinking 'What kind of idiot has the audacity to check out people's butts?!' There are a lot here in Alice Academy that has that problem. TBOD is when one obsessively insults, compliments, touches, feels, and rub the butt of others.

BEWARE! Kokoro Yome and Gang Caught Butting Into Others Butts. Watch here:

"WOAH! Huge ass alert." says our mind-reading butt-checker.

"Damn! That girl must eat her way through school." replied his best friend Kitsuneme.

"Umm dude. That's a _dude!_" Mochu points out.

"No way! Seriously?!"

"Look! Look! Look over there by the fountain. Alleluia! The best ass I have ever seen."

"Woah! Yeah."

"Sick dude!"

"Why?"

"That's Narumi's ass."

The bathroom was where they were at for the next 4 hours.

x-x-x

"That's why you never butt into others private business." says a certain inventor.

"You don't?" questions the smart student.

"I am the only exception."

"Whatever."

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #05: ILNHO (I Love Natsume Hyuuga Obsession)

**Definition: **Probably the most common amongst women, and a few fellow men. Is when one obsesses over the _already-taken_ Natsume Hyuuga.

Fan Girl/s Alert! A little something for you Nat Hyuuga. Watch here:

"Kyaaa! Natsume-sama!" screams a few of his fellow fan-girls as he tries to run away.

"What the hell Imai?!" shouts the flame casting runner.

"I am alerting you of your fellow admirers." says the amethyst eyed ice queen.

"Why did you lead them to me?!"

"I alerted you before I they came."

"_They _wouldn't be here right now if_ you_ hadn't told them."

"Oops. My bad." she sarcastically says back.

x-x-x

"The pitiful Natsume Hyuuga was molested two days ago."

"He wasn't molested."

"My camera molested him."

"How?"

"Let's just say he paid the price of being saved by me."

"You didn't save him _at all_."

"When the camera is off, many things can happen."

x-x-x

Unusual Disorder #06: Animal Obsession

**Definition: **One of those that harbor my interest the most. Is when one obsesses over his/her own fellow animal friends. Need I say more?

Caught In The Act! Ruka Nogi and his Snow White friends. Watch here:

Ruka jumps into the arms of his chick friend, Piyo.

Ruka and Piyo hug and dance throughout the video.

Ruka returns to his Usagi because Usagi is jealous.

Ruka comforts Usagi and feeds him.

Ruka lay in the middle of the forest with all his other fellow animal friends.

Ruka looks over to where Hotaru stays and his eyes widen.

Ruka hopefully closes his eyes to see if she disappears.

Ruka gets up to run after Hotaru.

Hotaru and Yuu get on her flying machine and leave Ruka in a daze.

x-x-x

"Ahhh. One of the best videos captured."

"Ruka must be so mad at you."

"This video will make me rich."

"Ahem!"

"Oh right. This video will make me richer than I already am."

Yuu sweatdrops.

x-x-x

"And that is the end of our short documentary. I hope everyone has a good night and stays away from people like Hotaru because she could ruin your life." says a nervous Yuu.

"Keep talking Yuu and I'm going to exploit yours next."

Yuu shivers.

"Good bye and good night."

"Good boy."

Shiver again.

* * *

How was it? Notice I will always ask you that question everytime I finish a drabble.

Hope that this was not as bad as the last.

CRITICIZE AND COMPLIMENT

REVIEW!


	5. Don't Hate Me

Hey, you guys! How are you? How long has it been? 2 weeks? Hahah! Not funny, I'm guessing...

Wow. It's been practically a year or more since I last updated. I'm really sorry. I am taking all the blame. Seriously.

I have been a bad girl. A very bad girl.

I miss writing so much but I find it annoyingly hard to become inspired to write. I've had a few thoughts in my mind though.

It's kind of eating me up that I haven't written in forever. Don't hate me!

I will eventually come up with a worthy story to be read. I promise.

For all of you guys who have stuck with me throughout the length of my disappearance, I love you. For those who are screaming at me through the computer, I love you guys too. Teehee. Well, I love all of you who are reading this right now because they gave me the time of day to actually go through this.

If I were to read this, I'd be pissed at myself for how long I've been gone, BUT that's just me. I have...problems. KooKooKoo. Or is that with a C. CooCooCoo. Haha!

I am alive and well. I've been quite busy but I still have no excuse for why I would wait 1 year to write again. I am terribly sorry and I love you guys so much.

Well, give me...a year. Haha! I'll probably conjure up an idea by then. -_-

Well, peace out, motherfathers! HAHAHA!

See you guys...soon.

xoxo,

P.S. I have been gone so long that I literally forgot how to upload a new chapter. Shit. Something is wrong with this picture. No author should forget how to upload a new chapter.

Trixie


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